done

So, it wasn't spring 2014 when I defended my thesis, but end of 2014. Whatever. The thing is done. Defence went shitty because of grumpy opponents. But whatever. The thing is done. After that I found a job. And for the first time since 2005 I earn enough money that I can start paying off my student loan. However. I had to leave science for that. I landed a sciency job, close to science, but I stepped out of the core sciency jobs. There was no place for me at the uni I worked during my thesis. And my project does not fit in well with other institutions. And for a grant I need to be an expert, so writing a grant on another topic is simply impossible. The topic I wrote my thesis on simply isnt going to get me grant money, since it is not in one of the 5 important topics where funding agencies like to give away their money. Plus I lack having been abroad. Which is obligatory over here for a career in academia. If you want that career you need to go abroad. Those young scientists who have not been abroad do not get TT or funds or teaching jobs. The older scientists who already gathered grants and fame before the (silly?) rule have never worked abroad. And these people now demand young scientists to work abroad for at least 3 or 4 months, but prferebly at least a year. This going abroad demand wasn't compatable with my life, since I have a husband who also persued a career (which is sort of logically, considering our age), and we have a kid. And family who needs us. Only people who do not have these 'issues' can go abroad. And only these scientists can get funding (of course they also need to be awesome,but I think I can be awesome as well, just not abroad, but in this country). So, here I am, I started paying off the student loan, and bought myself 2 pairs of jeans, and a pair of nice office shoes. And some tops. And I went to the hair dresser. And bought our kid a bike. All these things we could not afford while I was working as a PhD student. Now I just have to come to terms with me not making it to be professor, as I always wanted to be. But for the first time in years I feel somewhat positive about the future. A future in which I can afford buying 2 pairs of jeans at once :D