30 March 2011

stop thinking start feeling

I am a brainy person. All things in life I encounter, I look up what is known about it, and what I can understand of the knowledge. Buying a new car: comparing consumer advisory panels, comparing safety stuff etc. I even try to find manuals sometimes before buying stuff. Same goes for health issues, for instance the ones going around in the in-law family. I look up some reviews and start reading. Last year I had coaching to deal with the stress of the semi-failed PhD-trajectory I am in, plus all the stress of the in-law family. And the not so great help I get from my advisory team in the PhD trajectory. Turned out: I need to listen to my feelings when deciding what I do and do not want to get involved in, for instance the in-law shit. Plus, I needed to feel what I pushed away off all the tragedy of this ever so failing PhD student thing. I have improved that a lot, I only suffered mildly from the in-law stress, and did what I wanted and no more, this time. Last time it consumed a lot of my time, plus added bonus, I had no time to think about my miserable PhD thesis.

Now, I am on the verge of losing my job (see day tracker) and I need to consider: should I stay in science and work unpaid to pick up the skills I have learnt years ago and I need for a successful postdoc job landing, or should I switch. The switch and leave science option is a serious one, since there are NO jobs in science over here, plus there is a lot of competition, PhDs who managed to get a good in stead of decent thesis, for instance… And I am not passionate enough about science to move abroad. Simply not an option, my life is here, my family is here.
Thus I started making lists using the skill I am the most familiar with: Me Brain.
And got stuck.
The coach who helped me last year, also does these job coaching things. So there I was, again.
Turns out that for these questions I also need to listen to my feelings, not just my science brain.
My homework is to pick 6 things (not by using brain, but by using “feelings” (eeeew!)) that are most important for me in a job, and of those 6, how much am I willing to sacrifice for a job.

What are the 6 things that are important to you, my dear 2 readers of this blog?


  1. this is worth a blog post of my own. I've ben struggling with science lately too.
    I'm sure you have more than 2 readers!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. What's important: believing in what I am doing, that it is worthwhile: feeling like I am valued/appreciated: using my brain: being useful; NOT being micromanaged, having flexibility... actually, maybe replying wasn't a good idea, I am now wondering how I ended up in my current job!